Going to Shags For Christmas? Here is a Travel Advisory

IF you are NOT blessed enough to own personal means then u surely must have headed to COUNTRY Bus(waluhya) ama pale AFYA center(wakisii )to book a mbukinya or a transline bus to facilitate your travel to mashinani

Below are some of the habits to avoid in favor of your fellow passengers

FEEDING HABITS

Eat from your house and head to the bus station on a full stomach. If u can’t eat from home wait until you arrive at the designated stopping point. Some of us are very broke to sustain the chicken and chips aroma that you are inflicting on us as we travel.  Avoid foods that can inflict bodily harm to your bus mates.   Sugar cane is not advisable during travel. You may inflict your neighbor with unplanned injuries while trying to exercise the INEOS kipchoge challenge on sugarcane

Avoid foods that can cause neema to arrest you for being biologically hazardous to the environment and Stop pouring food on us .You can’t eat a cocktail of yoghurt eggs and groundnuts then expect a positive response from your stomach.

COMMUNICATION SKILLS

We don’t want to hear how Duale your village dog raped Rex the City chiuwawa .In short we are not interested in your nonsensical phone conversations. If u must speak to us make sure your dental formulae is clean. We are tired of the heavy hazardous smell of last night’s Guinness while trying to make us laugh to your unfunny long stories

SLEEPING HABITS

If your neck can’t handle your big Head kindly try to stabilize your head somewhere else when sleepy.  Kama uko na Tabia ya kuachia wenzako stain ya Mate ukiwa umelala panda punda

CHILDREN

If family planning dint work for you please don’t involve us with your six children if you can’t pay their bus tickets and facilitate their feeding.  The habit of “nishikie huyu” or “amka baba ukule na uncle”   uncle?? Where? Who? How?

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

If you can’t keep your eyes to yourselves, watch the moving trees outside and Stop poking your nose to our phones. To phone owners keep your private matters private and put on headphones. We are not interested in your coarse voice notes with your TWA TWA partner

Finally travel safe and happy festivities

Hillary Raini:
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